(I wrote this a couple of years ago.)

(All occurrences of the word submissive below are surrounded by invisible inverted commas.)

Two stern looking women wearing corsets and a innocent seeming lad clad only in a collar face the stage.

Out minces a man barely able to walk in stringent lady’s ballet shoes with an ironing board, an iron and a stack of clothes. After allowing him barely fifteen seconds of demonstrating his skill at performing household chores in humiliating discomfort one of the women hits the buzzer.

He won’t be collared as America’s Truest Submissive.

In the other day’s note on labels I ignored what is possibly the most hoary gambit in BDSM: what defines a real, card carrying, authentic, genuine, government certified, true submissive.

Then I saw the wearying old debate rising once again from the grave.

Have you ever worried that you aren’t truly submissive or that your husband, partner is not?

Abstractions aren’t helpful. If anything they can be deadly. This doesn’t stop some people from fretting about it like theologians. Even the simple-minded are rarely so simply reduced.

Thinking about the issue only within romantic D/s: do you really love your partner? Does making her happy expand your own happiness? Do you strive to be mindful, increase the ease of her daily life? Willing to defer your own pleasures even forgo them?

Hey, you must be pretty darned submissive.

OK. Well do you feel that service is tainted if colored by erotic feelings?

Nonsense.

Where do you think the drive to submit comes from? Erotic fulfillment is in there somewhere. Orgasm denial isn’t an argument against this: many men find chastity sexually gratifying. Even the most detached service submissive has some sort of erotic pleasure – even if invisibly – caressing his back brain.

Do you feel your submission isn’t pure enough because you have your own desires. Purity of intent is fine. No one is without hopes and needs. Fibbing to yourself about that is asking for disaster.

Self-sacrifice can be a beautiful act. Or self-destruction. Depends on keeping it within proportion. I’ve damaged my own life by letting my desire to give get out of hand. (Not with Alexandra.)

As I wrote a few days ago in the beginning out our relationship I did wonder if the desire to surrender was really part of my makeup. We all have doubts about ourselves or find self-definition difficult.

Is she happy with you? Are you happy with her? If the answer is yes then you must be true enough.

If not then it is time to talk and negotiate. Never try to live up to someone else’s imaginary rules.

Originally posted 2008-01-26 16:10:42.

True Submissives!
Female Led Relationships - Female Domination, Superiority, Supremacy, Dominant Wives & Girlfriends, Woman Worship, FLR Lifestyle

Allow me the strength to answer questions I can’t fathom.
Allow me the spirit to know Mistress’ needs.
Allow me the serenity to serve Her in peace.
Allow me the love to show Her myself.
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Her.
Allow me the light to show us the way.
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Her.
Let me be able to show Her each day my love of my service to Her.
Let me open myself up to completely belong to Her.
Let me accept my punishment with the grace of a humble male.
Let me learn to please Her, beyond myself.
Grant me the power to give myself to Her completely.
Give me the strength to please us both.
Permit me to love myself, in loving Her.
For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make Mistress’ life complete, as Mistress makes mine.

Other Female Led F/m prayers.

(This is a modification of a somewhat different prayer that has been floating around the internet for many years.)

Submissive Male’s Prayer
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Woman Worship Prayer

Allow me the Serenity to serve Mistress in peace

Allow me the Love to show Mistress myself

Allow me the Tenderness to comfort Mistress

Allow me the Light to show us the way

Allow me the Wisdom to be an asset to Mistress

Let me be able to show Mistress each day my love of service to Mistress

Let me open myself up to completely belong to Mistress

Let me accept my punishments with grace

Let me learn to please Mistress beyond myself

Grant me the power to give myself to Mistress completely

Give me the strength to please us both

Permit me to love myself in loving Mistress

Mistress I give you my body for whatever use you chose. Pleasure, pain, labor and service. I know that Mistress will use Her property well.

Mistress I surrender my heart. My sole delight will to please, worship and obey the Woman who owns me.

Mistress my mind is yours. My thought will focus always on Your needs, wishes and smallest whims.

Mistress your propety is ever thankful to serve and grateful even for any punishment You use to instruct your slave.

Male Slave’s Femdom Prayer
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Chaste Man’s Prayer

My Mistress is my lover and keyholder,
With lock and key She and She alone controls my sex.

The tube that encloses my cock is a reminder that
Her love and the lock shall shield me from any relief otHer than Hers.

Yeah, though I cannot have any sexual relief my self,
I shall be an instrument of Her pleasure.

With massages and orgasms I shall bring pleasure to Her days,
And I will dwell in the world of the horny,

My hands and my tongue shall bring warmth and pleasure to Her world,
And I, a horny husband and lover, shall kneel as I massage Her feet.

Though I might plead and beg for sexual relief.
With touch. tease and denial She shall give me more reason to love Her.

I shall come to enjoy Her pleasures as if they were my own.
Though I beg for relief She shall smile and say “not now”.

I shall endure the pain and pressure while awaiting the gift of Her key.
Though my cock shall swell within its prison I shall feel no relief.

I shall with touch and tongue work to make Her want me more than ever.
She shall smile and say “once more please.”

Though at night I am awakened by my cock seeking escape from its prison,
I can only arise, and pee and pray for relief from the pressure of the tube.

I must sit to pee, this shall be reminder of my dependence on Her love.
While dreams of Her LOVE the key shall haunt me all of the days of the week.

When Sunday comes and after a massage and stimulation
She might kneel and release my cock from its prison,
And I shall give Her a reason with strong throbbing orgasms
That bring joy to us both as we know that my captivity was not in vain.

I shall thank Her for the control of my sex once more,
And I shall stand naked before Her as once my cock is imprisoned,
And with a loud click of the lock my sex shall be Her’S once more.

More:

• F/m Prayers
• F/m Keyholders

Submissive Man’s Prayer to Mistress Keyholder
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Individuality – we each express who we are without regard to the bogus conventions, sham rules and kindred nonsense that is often propounded as truths on the web.

Erotic Beauty – Ordinary people they say have fifteen minutes of sex a few times a week. Pneumatic action followed by sleep. In our power exchange “sex” can last for hours and the afterglow for days. (Yeah, this is two words.)

Pet – I’m in love and on my knees. Resting my head on her knee and waiting for her hand to brush the back of my neck is one of the happiest spaces I can go to.

Creature – (Not really explored. But I want ten.) Less than human object. Existing to be used: inarticulate, obedient without thought.

Slave – My will vanishes. There seems to be an invisible wire that leads from her brain to mine. My brain becomes quiet, if I think it is only to make sure I obey.

Helpless – How odd it is to be a man who must struggle to reach these states. Thankfully chains and cuffs can help me find my way there.

Pain – I almost laugh as I type that word. My mind harks back to being bound at the dining room entry as she hit me. Would that next blog of the quirt be too much or not enough? Before she comes back I will go to my rose garden and cut a thick stem.

Suffering – As she hurts me it feels as if she is eating my heart like it is a rare delicacy. There is more than mere physical suffering to be explored.

Surrender – I prefer this word to submission. (And despise “sub” and “subbie.”) Doing what I’m told or really merely asked meshes deeply with my needs.

Worship – this is where the surrender is purest, becomes beatific. When this overcomes me I wish I were telepathic. There are no words, is no action with which I can really let her feel what is flowing through my heart.

Eleven Delights of Submission & Masochism
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That coating my penis with Orajel never passed through my mind isn’t a sign of good sense but lack of imagination.

Dan Savage, sainted sex advice columnist, was asked about it by a man who was using the dental palliative to deaden the nerves of his penis before having coitus with his girlfriend as a form of orgasm denial play. Dan warned:

It seems particularly foolish to smear any kind of Orajel on your cock when there are products on the market specifically designed for desensitizing cocks, things like Mandelay gel and Proloonging’s “penis desensitizing aid delay spray.” These products are marketed to men who suffer from premature ejaculation, even though numbing the dick doesn’t really cure premature ejaculation. They sound perfect for you and your orgasm-denying girlfriend, though, and I’d recommend ‘em over that potential rat poison you’re using now.

My Girlfriend and I Are Into Male-Orgasm Denial

Originally posted 2012-10-07 05:29:38.

Penis Numbing Advice
Female Led Relationships - Female Domination, Superiority, Supremacy, Dominant Wives & Girlfriends, Woman Worship, FLR Lifestyle

A couple of weeks ago I saw a photograph of a shrine a man had erected to a ProDomme he often sees.

The other night I ran into one of the wackiest websites I know of: Woman Thou Art God.

The Cbelians are big on woman as divine (and piss in their men’s mouths daily to prove it).

And let us not forget the Service of Mankind Church, on some level part of William Bond’s feverish female supremacy fantasies.

So there are plenty of examples of the divine feminine in a crass and amusing sense. (And I’m not even mentioning the more obvious commercial goddess sites.)

What would you do if your wife – or girlfriend – that you should now pray to her as a deity. If she told you that he was literally a goddess and holy?

All manner of males claim to embrace this belief. What do you think of it?

Here are some woman worship prayers.

Originally posted 2008-03-08 16:12:06.

Would You Pray to Your Wife?
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Slave exists only for Mistress Owner’s pleasure, use and convenience.

Slave obeys instantly without hesitating, questioning, negotiating or debating.

Slave behavior will be regulated by many rituals and protocols. No variation is ever permitted.

When Mistress Owner speaks slave listens. If slave was talking it will instantly silent.

Slave’s body is owned by Mistress Owner. Mistress Owner will use, modify, change it as she desires.

Slave will conform to a dress code be it total nudity, transvestism or whatever garments Mistress Owner selects.

Slave’s mind is Mistress Owner’ property. Mistress Owner will teach slave what to think.

Slave’s heart belongs to Mistress Owner. All slave feeling revolve around satisfying Mistress Owner.

Slave does not use furniture. Normally will stand at attention or be permitted to sit at Mistress Owner’s feet.

Mistress Owner will provide slave prayers of worship. Slave will recite these to itself silently throughout the day.

Slave transfers all money to its Mistress Owner. Slave itself never has any property.

Slave is property. Mistress Owner may sell, trade or dispose of slave as suits her will or whim.

To be signed at beginning of enslavement. Can be recited weekly as vows or renewal or daily as a prayer of Mistress Owner worship.

Compare to other male enslavement contracts.

Lifestyle, Lifetime TPE Male Enslavement Rules & Agreement
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The conservative speaker, entertainer, darling of the Tea Partisans.

Do you fantasize about her as your mistress wife?

Do you think she’d be cruel, tough, demanding and strict?

Or what is Mistress Sarah Palin be like in your fantasies?

Originally posted 2008-10-07 05:49:23.

Sarah Palin
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Freedom by Loving Submission in a Matriarchal Relationship

In a word I think it’s the freedom! In modern, mostly patriarchal Western society, many men feel shackled and hindered by society’s dictates and the double standards they must adhere to where relationships with women are concerned. In your average relationship all decisions must be either made by the male or at best things are decided mutually. The man’s freedom is limited. Even at home he must continue to fill the same role and the same shoes he fills in the other aspects of his life. I think there are actually lots of men who wish they could live in submission to a female partner, yet they can’t express this desire or express submissiveness for fear that it will attract their partner’s ire. Men in ordinary modern relationships constantly come up against limits, boundaries, and constraints. A female led relationship sweeps all that away, freeing the man to act as he most wishes to do.

Being in a female led relationship would feel freeing for me. Letting go of the responsibility to make all the decisions, having to direct every event, is a concept I find liberating. I would of course like to have input and have my ideas, thoughts and feelings given serious consideration, but in the final analysis, I would covet a relationship where I’d have a partnership with a confident, dominant woman who would make the final decisions. I believe that lots of men who live in the modern world in “normal” male dominated relationships would find it freeing to trade all of that for a matriarchal type relationship. Going from ordinary relationships to a relationship in which you are allowed to submit and are freed of the responsibility to act as the head of the household I think would be incredibly liberating.

Being unable to express my submissiveness and having to keep it firmly in check and under wraps in accordance with society’s demands makes me feel stifled, shackled and feeling a real lack of contentment. Being in a situation where I could give free rein to behaving in the way to me that feels most natural would make me feel fully alive and free for the first time, as though I had finally arrived as a real and complete man.

To me having the freedom to focus completely on my partner, her needs, desires and wishes instead of being made to focus on making all the decisions affecting my life and hers, would offer profound feelings of freedom to pursue imaginative ways of making her feel special, adored, cherished and honored. I can easily imagine how such a relationship would make me feel eminently more effective as a relational partner and feel that nobody was holding me back, or preventing me from getting to where I truly wanted to be as a person.

With all the above said, there remains one other important aspect I can imagine about being in a female led relationship. I think it would make me feel supremely appreciated and loved by a woman. I would feel most accepted by the knowledge that she was willing to assume responsibility for the decision making and of being in control. I think women should never underestimate the importance of making a man feel accepted and appreciated and too often what men are made to feel is that their partner wants to change them. This is the antithesis of feeling acceptance as I think any person might agree that being made to feel that you aren’t accepted for who and what you are is very unsettling and upsetting. Should the day ever come when I meet a woman who can look me in the eye and acknowledge her willingness to lead our relationship, make the decisions, and hold me accountable to obey her every wish and desire, I am sure I’ll feel ten feet tall and feel a profound sense of peace and contentment. Such a circumstance would for the first time in my life, make me truly feel that someone was accepting and appreciating me for the man that I am.

Having a relationship such as I have described would to me be utterly fantastic. I would feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to a woman that gave me permission to worship at her feet, serve her in every imaginable way and pay continuous and sincere homage to her dominant femininity. In such a relationship I would feel truly free. I have to believe that somewhere on the planet there is a woman such as I’ve described who could love me enough to accept my submission to her and set me free. What more could any man ask for?

(Something I clipped long ago. Source forgotten. Sorry.)

Male Liberated Through Loving Female Authority
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Females Spanking, Punishing Males

Bill Ward corporal punishment art that fits the more conventional image of female-led relationship spankings than his more extreme drawings.

Lots of Bill Ward Femdom Art

.

Originally posted 2012-12-29 11:19:38.

Bill Ward Female Led Relationship Spanking Art
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Cuckoldry Is a F/m Retish

If you are a conventional wife (girlfriend) and your husband (boyfriend) as begged you to cheat on him and have sex with another many and you are confused and horrified you might find the following useful for context.

Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are voluntarily “cuckolded” by their wives, sometimes as part of the husband’s sexual fantasy and sometimes because they gain genuine sexual arousal through being humiliated by his wife being better sexually fulfilled with a potentially superior male. In some cases the husband may instigate and nurture his wife’s sexual infidelity.

The husband usually finds pleasure through that of his wife (or what he perceives to be her pleasure), and they (the wife and extra-marital participant) may both enjoy attempting to actively include him in the act of cuckolding as much as possible through serving her. Some common themes include praising her appearance, attempting to stimulate her sexually at the same time as the additional participant, and generally being engrossed in her enjoyment, usually while masturbating or involving himself in some sexual act with his wife during their activity.

Some less-common themes might include grooming his wife for her “date”, homemaking, or oral sex following the conclusion of sex with the other man. When this oral sex follows ejaculation, it is termed a creampie or cleaning up.

You can find additional information at Wikipedia: Cuckold.

Female Led Cuckoldry
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How do you feel about taking charge of a person’s whole life?

Directing how a submissive person:

• Dresses
• Eats
• Exercises
• Spends Money
• Uses Free Time

Do you need – would you like to – regulate someone 24/7?

Would you use punishment when your rules were disobeyed?

Would this be exercising power for its own sake or something you’d consider doing only in a loving relationship?

Or would you feel troubled by someone requiring so much direction, prefer a more self-directed and in certain senses self-assertive submissive person?

Have you actually tried this? Did you have success or failure?

Can Dominance Improve a Submissive?
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What is “Femdom” if not D/s and S&M with a certain arrangement of pronouns?

The list grew to twenty. Could’ve been seventeen but our fingers have left us with a prejudice favoring multiples of five.

Herewith a list of things for fetish folk to meditate on. Disagreement is as always invited.

1. Female superiority and supremacy may make hot fantasies. Some like to play plantation slave and concentration camp victim. None are part of a sane reality.
2. Gender is fluid – biologically, socially, personally. The only gender rules or roles anyone adopts should be those they enjoy.
3. Genders don’t have inherent social behaviors. Women are not necessarily X nor men necessarily Y. Some are Q. Others are z1nMn3pR.
4. Gender can be playful self-expression with components that can be manipulated blurred or blended.
5. Clichés can be sexy and fun. One person’s stereotype is another’s archetype.
6. The only rules are those agreed upon by two people who are at least trying to be sensible.
7. Never be Dommelier (or slavier) than thou shall be the whole of the law.
8. Pleasure is individual to each person’s nervous system: your greatest thrill may do nothing for someone else.
9. Never try to convince a man that his wife can surely enjoy dominating him unless you are willing to pay his legal fees for a divorce.
10. BDSM maybe entertaining, enriching, fulfilling: it isn’t a morality play.
11. If anyone tells you that a real something or someone must be such-and-such warn them that you may be compelled to report them to the Society for the Suppression of Boredom.
12. Other fetishists’ experiences are invaluable. Others ways of performing BDSM aren’t necessarily yours.
13. Risk is always there. If you can’t accept this don’t cross the street. You probably shouldn’t even leave your house.
14. Never be ashamed to admit you want or need a safeword or stop words.
15. Don’t confuse letting yourself become miserable and unhappy with topping from the bottom.
16. You may enjoy feeling like a slave but your slavery isn’t a legal, political or social actuality. Sorry.
17. Porn – for better or worse – is not reality: understand what real life people are saying not what you want to hear. Then you can enjoy both porn and reality.
18. Any BDSM relationship may embrace multiple levels of play from the most intense to the lightest.
19. Never to be neglected in any century: honesty, communication, clarity, respect and empathy.
20. TLAs – three letter acronyms – are much worse than four letter words.

It could’ve been twenty-one maxims. Or thirty-nine. Have one to add? Is there one you feel I should retract?

Hmmm. Maybe I should have cut this back to ten. 10 Best Things About BDSM seems a better list.

On my knees, hands and feet hogtied together behind me. It was the first time I submitted to Her. Sitting in Her chair looking at me, I felt I was being examined with an eye to being improved like a bit of hardware that required tuning.

I didn’t see her sudden slap against the side of my face coming.

“Do you know why I slapped you?”

“No “¦ ” not sure what to say I concluded ” “¦ Mistress.”

The second slap seemed faster and harder.

“The first slap was because I can and I like to. The second was for addressing me as Mistress. Did I give you permission to use that word?”

“No “¦ ?” confused I let the word peter out, half a question.

She grabbed an ear lobe between her fingers and bent down.

“Every slave has made common with his fantasies!”

“I “¦ ” Didn’t finish because one of her nails cut into my captive lobe.

“Shut up, never speak without permission. Never make an assumption. I may instruct you to call me My Lady, Goddess, M’am or even Mistress. I may change the words you address me every day. If you forget and use the wrong one you’ll be punished. Not that I need an excuse. But I’ll enjoy your knowing that you might’ve escaped a beating if only you’d been more careful.”

“For now I think you should say nothing.” And she reached for the ball gag on the table.

——–

20 Things About Femdom
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Special Names for Trainees and Slaves

It is a new name — one for training and if we are so lucky and I end up owning or we end up continuing in another form a second name is given.

The first is merely something different from their reallife name because I think it heightens the different between scene time and mundane time.

The second is more important so I take a good deal into consideration. Their likes and dislikes, their personality, the relationship dynamics itself (even if it is Ds or owner, it will differ from person to person), anything I think that has changed since training.

Then I’ll come up with a short list and give them veto power over one of those on the list — I chose from the reminder names. I think that’s important because I want the submissive or slave name to be very valuable to them, to make them proud of earning it which they must do.

I use pet names also but the submissive or slave name is special and I won’t ever use it for another person nor do I introduce them by that name (its mine, mine, mine alone).

Originally posted 2011-01-11 14:28:33.

Special Names
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You never know what will turn up on Yahoo! Answers:

Whats with all the female-supremacy questions – Do you think feminism gives rise to sense of female-supremacy?

As you can imagine this prompted a number of amusing and perhaps indirectly edifying responses. I suspect the original poster was a troll.

Read all the comments.

Did Feminism Create the Female Supremacy Movement?
Female Led Relationships - Female Domination, Superiority, Supremacy, Dominant Wives & Girlfriends, Woman Worship, FLR Lifestyle

My Pleasure in Being Submissive and Masochistic

Individuality – we each express who we are without regard to the bogus conventions, sham rules and kindred nonsense that is often propounded as truths on the web.

Erotic Beauty – Ordinary people they say have fifteen minutes of sex a few times a week. Pneumatic action followed by sleep. In our power exchange “sex” can last for hours and the afterglow for days. (Yeah, this is two words.)

Pet – I’m in love and on my knees. Resting my head on her knee and waiting for her hand to brush the back of my neck is one of the happiest spaces I can go to.

Creature – (Not really explored. But I want ten.) Less than human object. Existing to be used: inarticulate, obedient without thought.

Slave – My will vanishes. There seems to be an invisible wire that leads from her brain to mine. My brain becomes quiet, if I think it is only to make sure I obey.

Helpless – How odd it is to be a man who must struggle to reach these states. Thankfully chains and cuffs can help me find my way there.

Pain – I almost laugh as I type that word. My mind harks back to being bound at the dining room entry as she hit me. Would that next blog of the quirt be too much or not enough? Before she comes back I will go to my rose garden and cut a thick stem.

Suffering – As she hurts me it feels as if she is eating my heart like it is a rare delicacy. There is more than mere physical suffering to be explored.

Surrender – I prefer this word to submission. (And despise “sub” and “subbie.”) Doing what I’m told or really merely asked meshes deeply with my needs.

Worship – this is where the surrender is purest, becomes beatific. When this overcomes me I wish I were telepathic. There are no words, is no action with which I can really let her feel what is flowing through my heart.

(I got a note saying that someone on Informed Consent swiped this without credit. Rereading it I find I still enjoy it and thought I’d repost the list here.

Pure Happiness of Submission
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Enhancing a Submale’s Punishment

When a submissive male has been too often lazy, disrespectful or sloppy his Mistress may want to intensify his corporal punishment the better insure future correct behavior.

On deciding to spank her submale Mistress can simply grab him by his earlobe using it to drag him to the place of punishment. Imagine his shock at instant pain that he cannot eroticize. Humiliated when handled like an errant child.

Shamed and hurt his spanking (or other form of corporal punishment) will be felt more forcibly. Driving home the lesson that as a submissive male his duty to always show a serious dedication to please his Mistress.

Some may wish to further deepen his corrective suffering with a mouth soaping prior to physical punishment.

Originally posted 2013-04-04 06:42:02.

Yank Your Submissive Husband’s Ear (F/m Disciplinary Techniques)
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Female Led Spanking Guide

The F/m spanking routine described below is taken from The Spencer Spanking Plan, which mostly focuses on husbands punishing wives.

If the husband is to be whipped, he is directed to go to his room and get ready for the punishment. He must obey without a word of complaint and without uttering a word of argument.

He should undress, then stretch out full length on the bed, face-downwards. He must wait in this position, until his wife enters the room — whether she comes in immediately or keeps him waiting several minutes as some women do.

As soon as she enters the room, and without speaking, she begins whipping him. Her job is to whip him efficiently — effectively — but humanely. She must carefully observe all the rules, but she can, at the same time, make the session quite effective and truly beneficial.

Some women use a wooden paddle only. Others employ a strap. The great majority use both: the paddle first — to warm up the skin good — then the intelligent application of a leather strap. A man’s belt is often used. Many wives require that the paddle and/or strap be placed ready for use when the man takes his whipping position.

A modern whipping does a man good for several reasons First of all, there is the beneficial humiliation it causes. It is an act of complete submission. Just to stretch out obediently and get ready for the punishment does him good. Before the paddle is applied a single time — before a single stroke of the strap is delivered — the discipline starts being effective and beneficial for this very reason! It is an act of surrender, and being a willing gesture of submission, it does more good than millions of spoken words would possibly do!

Don’t think for a moment that modern women are not learning how to make their whippings effective, too! Just because they are using common sense rules that safe-guard the practice from assuming any aspect of brutality — don t think for a single moment that they are administering “play whippings” or that they can’t make the discipline something to be sincerely dreaded!

Are there any details or nuances that you would add?

How Women Should Spank Men
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Moved to Lifetime Lifestyle Orgasm Denial.

Originally posted 2008-02-18 13:14:37.

Would You Like Become Totally Sexless?
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