I’ve bitten my tongue many times to keep myself from saying this to some men. But the Marquise is so right:
Is it possible to “convert” a straight woman to be the domme of your dreams? No. It’s not only impossible but it’s morally wrong even to try. If a woman has domme tendencies that are dormant or repressed, then I am all for encouraging those traits to blossom; however, if it’s not in her nature, then any attempt to manipulate her into the role is wrong and will fail. …
Sadly, I’ve read of men who have kept on trying for twenty years or more.
But some women may discover they do enjoy some sort of – possibly very light – erotic dominance. If the man doesn’t present it in such a manner that she’ll react rather than reflect.
However, what we consider our nature can sometimes be due to a limited and prejudiced understanding. What is often needed is honest self searching and experimentation so that experience and reflection can open up new areas of pleasure.
Gently share your this part of your inner life with her. Let her see that it isn’t like the images presented in mass culture. Nowadays the idea of light bondage and spankings aren’t as shocking as they once were.
One approach to consider is explaining to your partner what submissiveness means to you. The stereotypical images the media disseminate about this lifestyle allow a lot of room for misunderstanding. Assuming this is the only information source available, it wouldn’t be unusual for a woman to deduce that a sub male is simply one who wishes to be beaten, though of course there is much more to it than that. There is now a lot of reading material that conveys the joy and pleasure of bdsm and you may want to think about introducing her to these.
The Marquise’s own site is one of those resources. As are some of the nicer blogs by loving D/s couples.
Read her entire article: Conversion
Originally posted 2011-01-17 06:42:31.
Turn Your Wife into a Dominatrix?
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