By Herbootlicker
Any game that people play is fun precisely because it is a game. That applies to chess, football, tennis and bdsm.
Real (i.e., non-consensual) slavery is not fun, and it’s not a game. It is bullying; it is assault, it is, potentially, murder.
The key is consent — which the Canadian police, for example, don’t understand.
That’s not to say that consent cannot be perpetual. A person can even lose his rational ability to think “no,” just as an addict can lose the ability to quit drinking or taking drugs.
That’s where consent goes over the line.
Like an addict, you surrender your decision-making authority temporarily (though that may be a long time, it should be finite) to your Owner. She, of course, has a duty (I suggest) to know your limits, and to stay within them.
That’s part of the bargain;
it’s like government. You trade a part of your freedom for benefits, and the right to review the social contract now and again.
In BDSM, you may trade virtually all your freedom for a finite time period, ceding all decision to your Owner until next week, next year or whenever. This is what keeps it a game, a recreation, a contract.
In fact, it’s rational (I suggest) even to cede the right to set the review date to your Owner, and rely on Her good sense — just as you rely on Her not causing you physical injury in the course of recreational pain.
No, it doesn’t work 100% of the time, and neither does football. People do get hurt, sometimes badly. That’s probably because there’s no safe-word in football (and there’s a parallel: a big part of Femdom BDSM, at least for me, is “proving” yourself, being macho, being strong, just as in football).
On the other side of the coin, the human DNA contains, I think, a “cruelty gene” that we repress with varying degrees of success. Being a Female Dominant gives that impulse a release, and is probably good for Her. Women are moulded by our society to be “nice” and they tend to sublimate in bitchiness or cattiness. However, Female Domination lets all that frustration out, along with annoyance at “the stupid things men do” (which no one can list anyway!).
So if a submissive (read “romantic”) male wishes to show his strength and toughness, at the same time he shows his sacrificial devotion to the Woman he loves, why not?
She, at the same time, vents Her frustrations, has fun teasing the man She loves and giving him sexual pleasure (albeit mixed with pain) whilst enjoying hot and heightened sex Herself. Part of the contract is that She decides, on the basis of Her personal pleasure, what kind of activities (“services”) Her temporary male slave will perform for Her.
Another proven psychological factor is that for a human in the throes of sexual passion, pain and pleasure cross over (within some limits, of course, as already discussed). That is why a whipping feels “wonderful” in the context of sex, why “love-bites” are part of the fun.
So for this male sub, it is a pleasure (not to mention a privilege) to lick my Owner’s boots and toes in a show of devotion and surrender, and to be allowed to lick certain sensitive parts of Her beautiful body in other ways that bring Her joy. In the midst of that passion, to feel Her whip is not only gratifying to my sense of devotion, but just plain exciting (for both of us)!
In response to something I wrote some time back: Recreational Femdom.
Originally posted 2010-10-26 17:19:17.
Femdom for Fun
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