Submissive Masochists vs Pure Pain Sluts
Paddle me and I’m happy. Mention a cane and I’ll be a good boy, the things scare the hell out of me.
Thank you. There is punishment and punishment. The way to encourage good behavior is to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. Don’t forget the positive reinforcement. Even masochists like hugs, kisses and praise. Catch your naughty subs doing things right once in a while, and remind them that putting you in a good mood is what makes you want to play. They’ll try harder to please you if there is a piece of cheese at the end of the maze.
I know that seems manipulative, but you are being manipulated when they push your buttons. Smart Ass Masochists are like wild dogs: they never been taught to sit and beg prettily for a snack, so they steal food instead. SAMiness (where the sub deliberately or unconsciously tries to provoke your anger to get punished) is a very bad habit and you have to train a sub to use other methods to get what they want from you.
Whatever you teach them to do will stick only if it leads to a palpable reward. If it gets them what they need, they will do it again and again. Masochists need pain, they need to be shamed and punished. Knowing this, you have the power to control them, and teach them to be perfect submissives if you will be patient and firm.
It really helps to be clear in your own mind about what exactly it is that you do want from your sub. Too many dominants are unsure about the direction they want the relationship to take, so naturally their subs are completely lost! Have a clear goal in mind.
If you are dealing with a masochist who doesn’t want to be submissive at all, that’s a separate issue. Some masochists really are just into pain and don’t go for dominance games. If you need a sub and all you have is a pain slut, then the D/s relationship won’t work. OTOH, if you are dealing with a sub who has never been properly trained, then that’s different.
As long as your sub is motivated to please you and will cooperate with training, you are home free. Just get into the habit of rewarding what you like and punishing what you don’t. Just don’t ignore your partner. Ignoring is a way to kill a relationship, not repair it.
Old Usenet Post.
Elsewhere read : Punishment.
Two Kinds of Punishment
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