(This was left as a comment on another entry by someone signing himself “beautiful.”
Printing someone’s opinions does not imply my endorsement.)
In defense of the hearts of dominant females everywhere, I as a true male submissive have a few things to say to those who are only playing silly sex games.
More, and more I hear people talking about FLR, LFA, DD, D/s, F/m spanking, FemDom, and simular lifestyles. To introduce myself, my wife re-named me “beautiful” eight years ago. My wife runs the household, I do what I am told to do. My Mistress respects me, and treats me well though, she will punish me when she feels that something I have done is deserving of punishment. Our D/s relationship is not a sex game, it does not exist to fulfill my fantasies, and I do not want it to. I want to please her, to serve her, to pamper, and cherish her, I did not ask my wife to dominate me so that I could then “top from the bottom.”
I see the blogs all over the web written by guys saying they desire to be dominated by a female. Actually, at times these really touch a nerve with me. Why? Well, what most of these guys want isn’t to serve a dominant lady. These guys are mostly living in the realm of daydreams fantasizing about being spanked by a beautiful woman. The thing is, they look at a spanking as only a foreplay scenario. they dream of leather clad vixens with whips, they feed into the imagry of BDSM, and the allure of the unknown. These are such ordinary fantasies. Have these males ever taken the time to understand the needs of the lady they fantasize about being dominated by? Come out of your fantasy world, and wake up to the realities of what it truly means to serve a dominant woman. How are your cooking skills guys? I can chef up whatever my lady desires whenever she may desire it. She needs feminine items, guess who gets to go to the store? I’ve become an expert at massage. Why? To please my Mistress. Did she have to order me to study massage? No, I studied the art so that I could better please her. Most of the supposed male subbie blogs I read aren’t written from a submissive standpoint, they just get turned on by the thought of it. There is quite a wake-up call in store for some of these gentlemen. You fantasize about being whipped, about being disciplined by a dominant lady but, have you ever truly been whipped? I mean, as a true punishment, not for sexual foreplay? Guess what guys? It hurts to be whipped, it’s supposed to. Are you a submissive male? Is there such an animal? By nature, no, I am not submissive, in fact, I am a go-getter, make-it-happen kind of a guy. Beautiful, confident woman ALWAYS made me feel submissive, never guys, no way, I am not a weak person. Only 1 lady dominates me. She is exceptional in every way. She dominates me not with her clothes, and her whips but, because she is the most exceptional woman I have ever met in my life. She is gorgeous in every way, inside, and out. I love her. She loves me. My wife is never “mean” to me. Our life isn’t a constant stream of punishments, that happens you DON’T GET IT GUYS!
Before any of you guys write another blog about your fantasies, why don’t you consider the fact that what you believe that you desire, may not be very desirable to you at all. A life spent wanking off to the imagry of your fantasy world IS NOT serving a female dominant! It is serving yourself! It is delusion. You are no slave, you want a slave, face it, the truth is always the truth. You want what you want, and that is in no way being submissive to your lady guys, get your facts straight.
Have you ever served corner time? Do you dream about such things? I hope not. You do not really want to stand in the corner, you shouldn’t anyway. Why would you want to displease your Mistress? You want her to strap you until your tears are silent cries, and your bottom is blistered, and bruised? Oh, you want to piss her off do you do you? No, you’ve never lived in a FLR or anything of the sort, you are fueling your desires, and your lady is not running your life, you are controlling hers. Have any of you guys ever had your bottom blistered, truly blistered until it is so stiff, and painful when you try to sit down that you almost want to cry? Think about the realities of a FLR before you get yourself into something you’ll wish you’d never dreamed about. I do not seek punishment, I seek the opposite, I seek my Mistress’ pleasure, whatever that may be, whenever that may be. When she punishes me, it has the effect of making me reflect on my wrong doings. I become very displeased with myself. There are times when I feel that my crime deserves a much more severe punishment than my Mistress has sentenced me to however, I NEVER speak one word, this is not mine to decide. My lot is to accept whatever she gives me. We have no “safe word” and we do not need one. My submission to my wife is not a game. My punishments when they occurr are not for my enjoyment, and I have absolutely no control over how, why, or when I am punished. I trust my wife with my heart. I know that she loves me, she will not give me anything I do not deserve. I couldn’t be happy living in such a false, fantasy senario. Sometimes a punishment whipping hurts so much that all I want is for it to stop but, I would never consider using a safe word even if, we had one. A “safe word” is not something that is in concert with my wife holding all of the power as far as I am concerned. If she ever offered me such control, I would happily refuse to ever use it, and I would state this openly to my Mistress. How can I ask my wife to discipine me when I am left in control of how severly she can punish me? Should a submissive husband decide how many lashes his Mistress will punish him with? Would this be true punishment or, the enactment of my fantasies? I have no desire to become an actor. If that’s what you want guys, go see a pro dom, and get your rocks off but, before you start dreaming about life in a FLR do some research into yourself. Are you merely fantasizing? You’d better be certain you aren’t before you start searching for a dominant female partner. If you have the guts to speak your desires to a female that’s a great start but, do yourselves a favor guys, leave what your desire may be out of the converstaion. You want to live in a FLR? Then realize this right now! If you are a submissive, this IS NOT ABOUT YOUR WANTS IT’S ABOUT HERS. Punishments are for not getting the program, they are not administered for your sexual release. Punishment is not supposed
to be something you want. Being punished should make you feel disappointed in yourself, it should drive you to better serve, and please your Mistress. It’s either all about her or, you are simply dreaming, and living a lie.
These rules were written by a male. These “rules” are all about his fantasy, not hers.
10. Request punishment when you deserve it and willingly submit to all punishments that I apply.
Request punishment when you deserve it? Requesting punishment in itself lets me know that this isn’t a list a female dominant might come up with. Certainly, if I transgress, I will openly admit my failure to my Mistress. Requesting punishment would IMHO be topping from the bottom. Who am I to say I deserve punishment? I am the subordinate here, that is not up to me. By the rules, I may deserve to be punished but, it is not mine to have any say in tis matter. My responsibility ends with letting my Mistress know that I have done something for which I am ashamed. I know when I have broken a rule. I am responsible to let my wife know when I step over one of her lines without her knowledge. What I am not permitted to do is decide the penalty she will impose upon me. Here, have another rule…You’ll only need this one rule if you are serious.
1. Stop talking about being submissive, and act that way.
Funny, look at all of the supposed subs who say things like “If my needs aren’t met blah blah blah. Needs are not wants, and wants are in no way needs. Forget your wants. We all have basic needss, food, shelter, etc, we aren’t talkig about needs here, not for submissives anyway, or are we? Are you submissive? Or do you only wish that you were?
I’ve lived this for eight years now. Our D/s relationship has taken time to blossom into the flower that it is. I am sorry guys if, this comes off as judgmental however, if you ever have any hopes of sharing happiness with a dominant woman, put her wants, and needs before your own. All of my needs are always met, I am well cared for. My wants? I have only one that matters. I want to please her. Other than this, I defer my wants to my Mistress’ discreation. You can’t imagine life like this? You are not submissive, you may be a masocist, you may revel in pain but, you are not submissive. You desire pain, and you find ways to get what you want. This isn’t the actions of a submissive male, they are the actioins of a person who knows what they want, and knows how to get it. Sounds very dominant to these ears.
I absolutely cherish my wife, and she cherishes me. Our marriage is happier than that of any couple either of us knows. Funny, everyone always asks what our secret is. This makes us feel incredible! Yeah, we have a secret, and we aren’t sharing it with anyone. You either get it or you do not. Life within only a fantasy is the definition of misery. Be happy, tell the truth, live the truth, there is no other way to find happiness. Happiness is either within both of you or, it simply is not. You want to be punished? Thenou don’t get it, not a FLR, you only think that you do.
You will die wanting if, you are fooling yourself. I live to please my lady. We have the relationship that I see tons of people wishing that they could find. Would you like to find treasure like this one day? Begin with honesty, end with honesty. The rest will come. Be honest with yourself before you involve another person in something that is 180 degrees out of polarity with reality. Do not play with anyone’s heart. Before you make it real, you’d do well to be completely honest with yourself first because, if you are not, then you are playing games with someone elses heart. Do not ask for what you are not prepared to fully receive.
Rules? You want to live underneath of her rules or your own?
Decide before you make some lady invests her heart into you without knowing who is really running the show. Don’t go find some lonely woman, and program her to be your dominant female robot. This will only end in utter sadness. You desire a relationship with a dominant female? Know this then, in a FLR relationship there is only one dominant. Get used to the idea or, maybe you could go find a new video game to play. Just for the record. There aren’t many of the guys whose blogs I’ve seen who really get it. Sorry, but, the truth is the truth, is the truth, and it always will be. How about you begin here. Consider what you are doing when you lead a lady to believe that you are something that you are not. Don’t play games with people’s hearts. You may never get what you desire, and this should be fine with you if you are a slave. Accept this, it’s your place as a slave to do so. You cannot accept this? Ask no woman to allow you to be her slave because, a slave you are not. You cannot give what you do not have. Submission is a gift. If you aren’t submissive you have no submission to give to anyone.
Our D/s Relationship is Not a Sex Game
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