F/m BDSM & Gender Folklore
When I first discovered relationships between dominant woman and submissive guys I was often puzzled and even disgusted.
I’d been living in a (very self-selected) world filled with liberal, humane, utterly nonsexist people. if anything I was probably too blind to some gender distinctions. I’ve never made up my mind.
But the males and females I spent time with wanted to be treated as people. Gender was biology. They weren’t representatives of their gender. Gender was biology: anatomy.
In the F/m universe men are often imagined as selfish: creatures who live for their orgasms (I like mine but it is just a delightful part of life. Nothing more.)
Penises had to be retrained, jailed. Kept under lock and key like a criminal. There are plenty of good reasons for enjoying tease, orgasm denial, male chastity. But it isn’t because men are bad or inferior.
Women are regarded as inherently nicer, better and wiser. I can easily enjoy feelings of gyneolatry. But. Females are people. Nice people. And evil people.
Feminization offended me deeply. What stark sexist trash. Experience has taught me to not despise it. Indeed sissyfication is instructive of how men percieve womanhood. But that for a male to emulate a female humilates a man will always leave me uncomfortable.
I’ll never really be able to grasp the female supremacist faith. I’m glad I’m a man. I like being tall. I like being leaned on. I like (sexist pig!) opening the door for a femme person. But were I a woman I’m sure that I’d think that was swell too.
F/m BDSM is about people seeking fulfillment. And even the gender stereotypes can have their place. We need to see path the cultural myths and bogus social constructs to the underlying reality.
Clarity and honesty makes for better relationships.
Originally posted 2011-08-11 06:19:28.
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